http://hereamisend.blogspot.com/

This is the link to my new blog. Just feel I need a change and want to move it to this new blog!

A Photo Session With Mommy

Landon in Jason's boots- Ahhhh my little cowboy!

Savannah in my wedding dress....

I saw pics of a girl in her moms dress when she was little @ her wedding it was so CUTE!

Even if we do not use it @ her wedding one day it was so much fun dressing her up!

What Does Christmas Mean?

To me it means EVERYTHING!

The Biblical Meaning In My Life
God brough His one and only Son to the world for us, because he loved me and you and EVERYONE in this world. To give us a chance at enternal life through His Son. If there had been no one in this world but me God still would have done it, can you believe He holds each and everyone of us that special in his heart? What a wonderful LOVE He has for us.

The Memories, Oh The Memories
When life was simple and I had nothing but trival childish worries in my heart. When I woke up on Christmas morning with such anticipation to see what was there for me. The traveling to grandparents house, literaly "over the river and through the woods". The child like dreams and wishes we would make. The imaginery games we would play. The years of "helping" mom and dad when I was old enough to see my lil sisters face on Christmas morning! Man can I have one of those Christmas' again, PLEASE?

I LOVE Christmas with everything with in me, I love the movies, the music, the food, oh the fun.....

Or what use to be fun!

These days it is all about THINGS THINGS THINGS, who has the biggest best gift, who gave the collest best gift, why we didn't get this. No more time for friends and family because we have to go here do this.

I miss the feeling I had back then.

Now I worry about money, about my kids, getting my entire family together, walking on egg shells around people, work, and all thes other adult things I have going on in my mind.

I feel like at every corner there is so much saddness in life now. I have lost friendships, lost relatonships from old jobs, I have friends struggleing with infertility, those who have lost babies, people I love and care about fighting cancer, relatives who don't speak, a few marriages around me that ended, others who have had a rocky year, death and sickness, people moving away..... and I look at my life and feel horrible for having a pit party day because in the grand scheme of things I am okay. But I hurt for those around me and I mourn all these losses, esp those who other seem to skirt past with out 2nd looks.

I want that child's heart that acepts changes and moves on with open arms, the light heart that we had as youth where we could do anything and be anyone with out worries.

That is what I want for Christmas, not the child heart who is gimmie gimmie gimmie but the one that was open and willing and ready for anything to come.

Wabi Sabi

You know the saying "This too shall pass" well can I say that I know it will pass and I know I will get over it or work through it and I know I will be okay but it sure does hurt while it passes!

But I learned tonight that you should take a new perspective and see the beauty in the situtation even when it is a bad one.

So the beauty is that I have some AWESOME friends who I can lean on, and AWESOME husband who has been my rock.

The beauty is that I cried and my make-up stayed in place.

The beauty is that I am getting stronger in this!

Storms
Stormy Day Goes By
Tears as Rain Drops Fall Down Down
Relationships End
Amanda Moore

Warmth
 Sunshine Brightens Day
The Rock Is Frim At My Side
Cold But Warm Within
Amanda Moore

Irreplaceable Role

Walking through the funeral home yesterday my mind wandered away from me.

This life taken from this world at the mere age of 27. In someways I felt aceint old and in others I felt so young.

There this family set saying good byes to a loved one, never seeing the future he could of had... but knowing that God was there with them. Hearing the stories people tell and laughing at the fun times spent. Why do we wait until it is too late to tell those who mean so much to us that they do.... we need to tell them, they need to know. When we are at the final good bye they are gone and will never know how we felt.

As my mind wondered I went back to a place in time where we were all young crazy kids, some of us shy and awkward to say the least. Looking at us know compared to the us in the memory.... I noticed how far we had come and how little we had gone.

I was the awkward shy girl whose self estem had issues.... and they were the popular kid. But there were the moments when the lines faded and we were just kids having fun and growing up.

I felt that awkward girl surface for a little bit last night, talking to people who did not recognize me.... that outward girl is gone.... I have broken her shell.

It's funny how you breakfree from certain things but you are never fully free.

I saw how that young life touched so many, I have my own stories for him.... I wonder if my life has done the same.

I would like to think it has, I hope it has! I will continue to try and be that irreplaceable role.

Time Flies When Your Having Fun

Savannah and her tutu dress

My Love

Sweet Baby Boy (no longer a baby)

Daddy's Girl

Preppy Boy

The Boys

Sweet Vannah

Vannah

Landon

Love Spring and Summer

It has been forever since I updated the blog. We have been so busy. Enjoy the pctures and Ill update soon!

Heavy Heart

My husband does not understand this heavy heart of mine.

There are things going on in relationships around me, I see them falling to peices. I wish there was something I could do to keep them from falling apart.

It is even worse when this is happening to a sibbling...

I can't handle seeing my brother hurt, this sucks.

I had a positive attitude and wishful thinking for all of this, until tonight.

I went out with friends and she was there, I still think she is a dear friend, but I could see that the love was gone. Then 30 mins after being home my brother calls me in tears...

What can I do?

My heart is breaking tonight, another love crumbled and gone,