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Monday, February 8, 2010

I Am So Tired of Feeling This Way

Complaint Time…

When you are expecting a baby you should be full of joy, you should be able to look at your new born baby and have fond memories of when you had that little miracle from God growing inside your stomach. I was the happiest person in the world during my pregnancies… but right now when I look at my sweet little boys face I honestly feel robbed of those fond memories.

I wish I could say that all my friends and family were so happy for us but not all of them were. In fact I struggled at the beginning of the pregnancy because most everywhere I was I got negative feedback… people could not believe we were “crazy” enough to have 2 children that close together. I felt horrible… I wanted to scream. Why could my friends not be excited???

Even now things keep poping up that make me so sad about the fact that friends cannot just be happy and support there other friends. Instead they tear me apart with words and actions.

I AM TIRED OF FEELING THIS WAY

So from now on I don’t care. To those who hurt me knowingly or not… I am okay. I do not like the fact that these times were taken from me but I the past is the past. I am moving forward. The hurt is deep from people who will never know the impact on me, I don’t know how to tell you what you have done.

ALL BABIES are precious gifts from God. From the 1st baby to the 19th if that is what you desire. I may think someone is crazy for having many babies, but I will never turn my back or cut her down or take her joy away. A pregnant woman is a blessing from above. I understand that things are done differently from baby to baby and that is not what I am talking about here it is the actions and words that were said and done to me throughout my pregancy and afterwards that I am talking about.

I am getting off my SOAP BOX for now.

This is me in the ‘raw’ and I am tired of holding it in.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

You should not feel bad at all about having another child. As you said, all children are a blessing from the Lord. His word says to be fruitful and multiply. They are created in His image. We were terrified to tell our friends and family that we were pregnant with Tristan. They seemed so disappointed when we were pregnant with Reagan after a year of marriage. And Tristan was not planned (at least not when we got pregnant). The truth is, we're never really financially ready. It will always be hard to transition to one more child. But after time, we get adjusted to the change financially and otherwise. Even now, random people will say to me, "Oh, you have your boy and your girl. You're all done." You can imagine the response I get when I say I would like to have more. People just don't understand. I even have one friend who constantly tells me it's too hard with 3, let her save me the agony and take her advice and stop at 2. Maybe that's the case for her, and I don't doubt it will be challenging, but I want to have more so mind your business! The bottom line is that you love Landon. You're certainly not going to put him back, so people need to stop judging, trust that you're a responsible adult that can make decisions about your family without their imput, and politely say, "well, I realize it's not the choice for everyone, but we're really happy."

Brad, Heather & Katie said...

babies are always a blessing. no one is ever prepared i think for the impact but God will always provide for his precious miracles. sometimes people say things out of jealousy, maybe they are having a tough time getting pregnant ect. i agree don't let anyone take away your joy no matter what! hope you are doing well and landon is a little doll baby! oh and katie will be moving up 2/22 to ms. kelley's class is that where savannah is???