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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What Does Christmas Mean?

To me it means EVERYTHING!

The Biblical Meaning In My Life
God brough His one and only Son to the world for us, because he loved me and you and EVERYONE in this world. To give us a chance at enternal life through His Son. If there had been no one in this world but me God still would have done it, can you believe He holds each and everyone of us that special in his heart? What a wonderful LOVE He has for us.

The Memories, Oh The Memories
When life was simple and I had nothing but trival childish worries in my heart. When I woke up on Christmas morning with such anticipation to see what was there for me. The traveling to grandparents house, literaly "over the river and through the woods". The child like dreams and wishes we would make. The imaginery games we would play. The years of "helping" mom and dad when I was old enough to see my lil sisters face on Christmas morning! Man can I have one of those Christmas' again, PLEASE?

I LOVE Christmas with everything with in me, I love the movies, the music, the food, oh the fun.....

Or what use to be fun!

These days it is all about THINGS THINGS THINGS, who has the biggest best gift, who gave the collest best gift, why we didn't get this. No more time for friends and family because we have to go here do this.

I miss the feeling I had back then.

Now I worry about money, about my kids, getting my entire family together, walking on egg shells around people, work, and all thes other adult things I have going on in my mind.

I feel like at every corner there is so much saddness in life now. I have lost friendships, lost relatonships from old jobs, I have friends struggleing with infertility, those who have lost babies, people I love and care about fighting cancer, relatives who don't speak, a few marriages around me that ended, others who have had a rocky year, death and sickness, people moving away..... and I look at my life and feel horrible for having a pit party day because in the grand scheme of things I am okay. But I hurt for those around me and I mourn all these losses, esp those who other seem to skirt past with out 2nd looks.

I want that child's heart that acepts changes and moves on with open arms, the light heart that we had as youth where we could do anything and be anyone with out worries.

That is what I want for Christmas, not the child heart who is gimmie gimmie gimmie but the one that was open and willing and ready for anything to come.

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